Don’t Be That Person
Have you ever had a friend that was not excited about your success? This friend is fine when you are on the same level, but the moment you get a little bit ahead there becomes tension? Do you notice everyone else clapping but them? Maybe it was a big promotion or a major raise. Perhaps it was a brag-worthy new job maybe you launched an awesome side hustle, and this person is just not as excited for you as everyone else. Seriously what is up with that?
We commonly use the phrase crabs in a barrel, but it is known as crab mentality or crab theory. Crab mentality is a thought process that says, “If I can’t have it, neither can you”. When you put live crabs in a barrel it has been found that it is very easy for one crab to escape, but that crabs’ efforts are undermined by others which leads to the crab’s overall demise collectively.
Human behavior in certain ways can mimic the crab mentality; in group settings, members of a group will (sometimes) attempt to diminish the progress of any member who accomplishes success beyond the others, out of jealousy, resentment, spite, conspiracy, or envy to halt the progress of the one trying to succeed.
In Australia, the locals call it Tall poppy syndrome, this is used to describe those who deliberately put others down for their success, and achievements. My 10-year-old niece would call this person a hater for simpler terms.
The Merriam – Webster dictionary describes envy as painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage.
Don’t Be That Person. Take a moment to reflect If you are that person and are just now realizing, you are that person make a conscious decision to change RIGHT NOW!
Some people reading this will say to themselves that doesn’t sound like a friend to me. You must realize everyone is different, everyone has had different experiences in their lives that have shaped them to be who they are today. Some people have a complex and have trouble processing their emotions this post is not here to chastise you or to even call you a bad friend – this is all being said in love, and to help you redirect. As my mother would say those who know better do better.
You must learn the tools to realistically be happy for friends who are doing better than you. Say this out loud “MY FRIEND’S SUCCESS IS NOT MY FAILURE”. Yes, sit in that statement for a moment. You must not overanalyze and compare your life to the life of your friend.
Remember Irion sharpens Iron (Proverbs 27:17). You should take the time to ask the needed questions so you can be successful. So many times, we go through life and make mistakes that could have been avoided had we sought wisdom. Sit with your friend pick their brain, and soak in the wisdom they have to offer to try to make your path easier.
Write your goals downs and set achievable goals within a healthy timeline. Rome was not built in a day; you must trust your own process and do not rush to keep up with friends. Trying to keep up with the Joneses will leave you broke, busted, and disgusted. Trust God's timing for your life, the right doors will open at the right time. Say that out loud "MY TIME WILL COME AT THE RIGHT TIME".
You never see a farmer putting a seed in the ground, just leaving it to grow. The farmer cleans the ground of weeds and debris, then he cultivates the soil making sure it is healthy, the seed is planted deep into the ground and watered daily until it bears fruit. Look at yourself as that seed. Evaluate your image see what changes need to be made inside and out, make sure you are healthy mind, body, and spirit, and feed yourself sources of knowledge that will help you grow in your craft, relationship, education never stay stagnant continue to develop until you reach the level of success you desire.
When someone you know is graduating, got a promotion, is getting married, started a business, got the healing they had been believing God for, is having a baby, won a contest, bought a house, got a new car be the loudest one to yell, be the first shout (for the churchy folk), be the first one to dance, celebrate your friend. Be that person, knowing in your heart that your time will come.
I hope this was able to help you in some way; Thank you for reading.
-Tameka
Very good
ReplyDeleteThis is so true love this
ReplyDelete❤️❤️❤️ mom
ReplyDeletePreach !
ReplyDeleteIn reading this I am so glad that I go by the law of being humble. Humble?,You ask yourself, yes humble, I use the word humble because your success, your path is yours and only yours. The blessing is not forever one, it is for you. People will become jealous or even envious of your blessing not even realizing what you had to encounter, patience you had to gain waiting for your turn. Sometimes the reward is showing them. Some people will judge, critize, or even hate what they don't understand. It's very important to watch whom u call a friend, and who you socialize with. Some will show you who they are *snakes* and some will be wolf's in sheep clothing. I have always prayed for God to show me whom my real friends are and who is there to gain something whether it be from there perception of what they think they can get from my walk through my journey or my success. I have never been a big person on the word " friend" I learned unfortunately through hardship that a lot of them were people of I knew of, or who knew of me, but never a friend. I have a little under a one hand full of friends but they are all WINNERS in my book because they encourage me, they respect me, they root for me, when I fall in hardship they are there whether it be for a word of advice, financial, spirituality, emotionally all of the above, as I would them in a heart beat. Those are friends!
ReplyDeleteWhen u hit rock bottom, you know who ur friends are because they will help u get up, and they root for u and give u the strength to get to the top!