Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

I Forgive You I forgive you for abandoning me. I forgive you for deciding from day one that men were more important and that you had better things to do. I forgive you for signing those papers and getting on with your life; even though they used and abused you, even broke your jaw I think you made a good call. I forgive you for giving up 3 and keeping 1 I guess 1 was better than none. I forgive you for telling her to get rid of "it", young and dumb you were out there having fun. I forgive you for selling dope, I guess the money it brought in gave you hope that one day you would make it out without a doubt I forgive you.  I forgive you for rejecting me. I forgive you for mistreating me as a child, for making me feel unwanted in my own home. I forgive you for introducing me not as your sibling, but as your mothers adopted child I didn't know labels came in such small sizes. I forgive you for allowing me to be raised by a married single mother, it was her idea to get u...

I can remember it like it was yesterday every day at noon my alarm would go off.   Ring Ring Ring  *hit snooze* Ring Ring Ring *hit snooze* this cycle would continue for the next hour or so. After laying in the bed crying for another hour; I would then reach over and grab my pills. I could not find the strength get out of bed without those pills. I would then stumble around the house like the walking dead; I had notes on my phone to remind me what to do. The notes I had on my phone were not very long either it went something like this 1. brush your teeth, 2. take a shower, 3. go downstairs and try to stay for 30 mins after my list was completed I would take more pills and go back to bed; somedays I never completed the list. Depression is real it is not just an everyday struggle for me it was an every second of the day struggle. I literally felt like the walking dead I would stumble around the house in my pajamas my thoughts were so foggy, I felt so heavy. I had successf...

This Saturday I was supposed to be getting married ... yes please let that sink in. Let's skip the fluff this evening and get right into it; this upcoming Saturday on the twenty-third day of the ninth month of the year of two thousand seventeen I was supposed to be walking down the aisle saying "I Do".  For some odd reason, I have always said my husband will be a Marine. There was just something about those Marine Corpsmen that I fancied God Bless America! I had dated a Marine in the past but this time it seemed like this was the one. I guess you can say I had a type tall, dark and decorated this would be my husband. I did everything I thought was supposed to do we found a place I made a home, I cooked, I cleaned, I tried to always keep myself up; stay sexy, stay beautiful, what could I do to keep him intrigued? was always a thought in the back of my head. I basically manipulated my life into a cookie cutter image of what I found to be perfect. Wow, a guy that loves...

Good morning Internets, I honestly was not going to really post today; but I had to just quickly check in to tell you how good my God is! As you all know I just started my blog this week; I am still shell-shocked. I started this blog as a way to walk out on faith; and with my small voice, it was my mission to let the world know about my big God. Well like my father always does he has shown up and showed out! In starting this blog I did not have a direct audience; I did not even know what I really wanted to talk about, but the Lord has been faithful in giving me the right words to say. In the past few days during my blogging; I have been getting an overwhelming amount of support and for that, I thank each and every one of you who have taken the time to read. Little old me I am just typing away thinking that nobody was listening; I was wrong! In the past 3 days,  I have had people all the way from Germany, the United Kingdom, Australia, Nigeria, the United Arab Emirates, Cana...

Fall is finally here! Hallelujah!!! Bye bye summer I will not miss you at all! I am team over it; I am over the sweltering heat, I am over the humidity, and most of all I am over all those pesky little mosquitos. Fall is here and I feel like moonwalking through a pumpkin patch; someone grab me a pumpkin spice latte (children's temperature please).  With everything I love about fall, I do not like Halloween. Growing up I was never allowed to celebrate Halloween; but I never pitched a fit over it because I was a scaredy cat. I never understood why people wanted to dress up like monsters, creepy dead people and the worst of them all clowns. I have always had a fear of clowns, and the recent revamp of the movie IT has not helped the least bit. Psychology Today describes fear as a vital response to a physical and emotional danger.  Fearof.net compiles a list every year of phobias Americans have; some of the top ranking fears on the website were the fear of flying, ...

Yesterday was such a big step for me; I walked out on faith and started my blog. It maybe minuscule to you; but it is a monumental moment for me. I want to first start this post by saying thank you for all the love, and support to everyone who took the time to read my very first post yesterday. At the end of every post; as I did yesterday I will be signing out as  Daughter of a King. I am not trying to toot my own horn at the least bit but I am royalty ... yep!, you read that correctly little ol' me royalty . I'm sure by this point you are rolling your eyes and saying this chick is crazy! But I tell no tales I am the daughter of a King; I am an heir of God and joint heirs with Christ. Flaws and all God took a chance on this broken hearted girl; he grabbed my hand and made me whole. I have been adopted into the family (Eph 1:5); because I have been born again I am no longer a slave - I am now a son of the Most High, and furthermore a co-heir with Christ (Gal. 4:7).  I'm s...

Wow... This is the one-word that continues to run through my head right now; just wow. I can not believe I am sitting here writing  (typing) this blog right now. I have for a long time toyed around with the idea of starting a blog, and I will expand on why it took me so long in another post on another day. This is just my introduction post ... Hello, internets I am here. The name of my blog Fearfully & Wonderfully Made is derived from my one of my favorite scriptures in the Bible  Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" .  God made no mistake when creating each and every one of us; I know when we think of this scripture we thing more towards physical stand point. When I think of this scripture I try to think of also the mental standpoint, about the uniqueness of my brain. How my and words are known by my heavenly Father before I even speak them from my mouth. So this blog is to me my wa...