Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

Remember in 2009 when Steve Harvey wrote New York Times Best Seller Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man ; the book flew off of shelves. There were preorders, and waitlist everyone had a copy I just had to see what all the buzz was about. The book was a hit women all over the world were singing Steve Harvey's praises for unlocking the code to men.  I was straight out of high school going into college when I read Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man; I was very sheltered growing up I was not allowed to listen to worldly music, I was not allowed to date (not that I had the attention of any boy), I was not allowed to go to sleepovers or play dates, or hang out I mean we never even talked about the birds and the bee's in my house. 18 and fresh out of high school I was grown you could not tell me nothin' I didn't have time for childish little boys anymore I was an adult. I knew nothing about boys, and especially nothing about men so downloading this book I thought would satisfy

   As a 90's baby the whole prince and princess storyline I got it down pat. Remember Snow White how the prince woke her up with a mear kiss on the lips, or Cinderella how her missing glass slipper was found and replaced by the handsome prince who sweeps her her off her feet. I as I grew in age I would graduate from channel to channel what started as Dinsey movies and turned into Helga worshiping a shrine of her football headed love on Hey Arnold, to then watching Steve Urkel profess his love to Laura, to  staying up late watching endless marathons of Will chasing all the "hunnies" on Fresh Prince of Bel Air.    Love was looks I was inadvertently programmed from a young age to believe that was what love was.  I mean why else did Helga love Arnold, or Cinderella love Prince Charming?; I never once watched an episode of  Fresh Prince and heard Will Smith saying "Dang I love that girl's intellectual abilities!". Each of the characters I grew to love during

I Forgive You I forgive you for abandoning me. I forgive you for deciding from day one that men were more important and that you had better things to do. I forgive you for signing those papers and getting on with your life; even though they used and abused you, even broke your jaw I think you made a good call. I forgive you for giving up 3 and keeping 1 I guess 1 was better than none. I forgive you for telling her to get rid of "it", young and dumb you were out there having fun. I forgive you for selling dope, I guess the money it brought in gave you hope that one day you would make it out without a doubt I forgive you.  I forgive you for rejecting me. I forgive you for mistreating me as a child, for making me feel unwanted in my own home. I forgive you for introducing me not as your sibling, but as your mothers adopted child I didn't know labels came in such small sizes. I forgive you for allowing me to be raised by a married single mother, it was her idea to get u

I can remember it like it was yesterday every day at noon my alarm would go off.   Ring Ring Ring  *hit snooze* Ring Ring Ring *hit snooze* this cycle would continue for the next hour or so. After laying in the bed crying for another hour; I would then reach over and grab my pills. I could not find the strength get out of bed without those pills. I would then stumble around the house like the walking dead; I had notes on my phone to remind me what to do. The notes I had on my phone were not very long either it went something like this 1. brush your teeth, 2. take a shower, 3. go downstairs and try to stay for 30 mins after my list was completed I would take more pills and go back to bed; somedays I never completed the list. Depression is real it is not just an everyday struggle for me it was an every second of the day struggle. I literally felt like the walking dead I would stumble around the house in my pajamas my thoughts were so foggy, I felt so heavy. I had successfully completel

This Saturday I was supposed to be getting married ... yes please let that sink in. Let's skip the fluff this evening and get right into it; this upcoming Saturday on the twenty-third day of the ninth month of the year of two thousand seventeen I was supposed to be walking down the aisle saying "I Do".  For some odd reason, I have always said my husband will be a Marine. There was just something about those Marine Corpsmen that I fancied God Bless America! I had dated a Marine in the past but this time it seemed like this was the one. I guess you can say I had a type tall, dark and decorated this would be my husband. I did everything I thought was supposed to do we found a place I made a home, I cooked, I cleaned, I tried to always keep myself up; stay sexy, stay beautiful, what could I do to keep him intrigued? was always a thought in the back of my head. I basically manipulated my life into a cookie cutter image of what I found to be perfect. Wow, a guy that loves

Good morning Internets, I honestly was not going to really post today; but I had to just quickly check in to tell you how good my God is! As you all know I just started my blog this week; I am still shell-shocked. I started this blog as a way to walk out on faith; and with my small voice, it was my mission to let the world know about my big God. Well like my father always does he has shown up and showed out! In starting this blog I did not have a direct audience; I did not even know what I really wanted to talk about, but the Lord has been faithful in giving me the right words to say. In the past few days during my blogging; I have been getting an overwhelming amount of support and for that, I thank each and every one of you who have taken the time to read. Little old me I am just typing away thinking that nobody was listening; I was wrong! In the past 3 days,  I have had people all the way from Germany, the United Kingdom, Australia, Nigeria, the United Arab Emirates, Canada, Spain

Fall is finally here! Hallelujah!!! Bye bye summer I will not miss you at all! I am team over it; I am over the sweltering heat, I am over the humidity, and most of all I am over all those pesky little mosquitos. Fall is here and I feel like moonwalking through a pumpkin patch; someone grab me a pumpkin spice latte (children's temperature please).  With everything I love about fall, I do not like Halloween. Growing up I was never allowed to celebrate Halloween; but I never pitched a fit over it because I was a scaredy cat. I never understood why people wanted to dress up like monsters, creepy dead people and the worst of them all clowns. I have always had a fear of clowns, and the recent revamp of the movie IT has not helped the least bit. Psychology Today describes fear as a vital response to a physical and emotional danger.  Fearof.net compiles a list every year of phobias Americans have; some of the top ranking fears on the website were the fear of flying, snakes, small spaces